One thing that taught me about open houses was that the connection between the host and his/her guests are really superficial. The host can't really be entertaining one guest all the time when he has hundred others at the door, trying to make small talk, whack the dishes and leave. The poor host must be feeling uneasy when two or more guests come at the same time, not knowing who to entertain first. The hosts and the guests have something to talk but ridiculously short, while amongst the guests, they too suffered the same fate of superficial talk and mingling without having a sincere engaging conversation.
Some did with a lot of success, I mean, having a long, sincere and engaging conversation. But open houses are not really a good place to have those conversations unless you are hooked to him or her or if you have vested interests in the person you're talking to. I have been in that situation before. Before you could go for your second helping, a bloke will be asking you for your business card and trying to think ways and means to be contactable again. I really hated when a stranger came up to you, after a brief introduction by the host, and began talking about things I don't like or feel like talking. Topics such as political gossips, business deals whether they are successful or ditched, and stories on Najib vs Altantuya, Teoh Beng Hock vs MACC. I hated those stories as if I knew the source of the stories and how the complicated storylinea snaked through.
The next thing you know, the guy wanted to see you at the office with a possible business venture. I hated those things when the guy called and said" "I am so and so, we met at so-and-so open house. And, I am thinking of coming to see you at your office with a fantastic proposal." Omg. This is the ill-effect of attending Hari Raya open houses, and you get swarmed with a lot of requests and proposals later on. I know, deep in my heart, this sort of relation will not last long once the guy knows that I am not really into proposals and requests. I just hoped they will go away and get repelled instantly. Sometimes, I needed to show my cold shoulder...it was not that I am powerful or have the connections to the power-to-be, but I just hated those things that do not create any value in my life.
However, I really loved situations when you are invited to "open houses" that are just extended to you exclusively. It is between two friends or two families. I just attended one in Semenyih when we had a ball of time, talking to each other about things that we all loved. Really human stuff, you know. You'd have this inert feeling that the conversation was going to be meaningful without strings attached. We spoke, we joked, we had long pauses to reflect on things and we laughed at our inadequacy. This sort of gathering is between good friends that don't mind of closing their doors even after 9pm, as they open their hearts and soul to you and your family. I have enjoyed thoroughly in having engaging conversation about how to manage adult teens, or sharing recipe to cook their favorite dish.
Sometimes, we need to pause and reflect on these open houses. It is pure glutton and show-offs, and not something that you get to earn pahala when you give food to others. It is also sign of social snobbery of many middle class Malays. For me, my house is always open 24/7 all year around and what you need to do is just to tell me when you're coming.
Join me in reducing Hari Raya open houses. It will do more good to us. It will reduce overeating and wastage of food and time, it will reduce traffic congestion on weekends, it will reduce expenditures, it will reduce the usage of polysterene food containers, of which, are rampantly used as plates and cups, it will provide quality time for families to visit their relatives rather than being with strangers in a good month like Syawal, and definitely, it will reduce fuel usage, tolls, parking tickets, accidents, and the risks of being sick after attending these open houses.
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